kira_dark_wing: I'm not short. Just unsually not tall (Default)
So my grandma, or the closets thing I've had to one on my mum's side of the family, died the 1st of August. It sucks, it hurts, it breaks my heart and I hate it. She had been quite ill in the last couple of years, and her mind was starting to slip due to senile dementia. She was 86, and would have turned 87 on the 24th if September. Rest In Peace Moster Sonja.

And I just learned that one of my idols, Mr Robin Williams is dead. I've adored that man since I was a little ankle biter, watching 'Mrs Doubtfire', not understanding a word, but finding him funny as hell. You are Free, Geenie, Rest In Peace, Mr Williams, and thank you for the laughter.

I'm sick of this. I'm clocking out for a while, World, so fuck you. Fuck this shit with loosing my favourite people, fuck this shit with being tired and sad.... Fuck this shit. FUCK!!!
kira_dark_wing: I'm not short. Just unsually not tall (Default)
So I may have done something either incredibly stupid or something good for my heart. I had sex with J. I just... Gods it's been a little over 8 months of sorta getting to know him as a friend again, and trying to just be friends again.

But yesterday... He came to my new apartment(does it still count if I've lived here since February?), out of the freaking blue, and we just... Talked. Nothing heavy or important, just two friends talking. He did this thing, had this expression, I can't even describe it, and I had to kiss him. And then one kiss let to the next kiss, and kissing led to, well, sex.

The thing is... I don't really regret it. And today we talked again, this time heavy stuff, like our past relationship and our feelings. We're giving it another shot, this him and me as a couple thing, but we are taking it slow. Which sounds weird after we've started this thing again the way we have, but I'm... hopeful. Yeah, that's what I'm actually feeling, hopeful.

What the hell am I doing?


kira_dark_wing: I'm not short. Just unsually not tall (Default)

December 2014

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