Writings of a Mad Mind

Since when did I live in the freaking tropics?? I know it's May and spring and shit, but bloody hell. It's 19:50 and the temp is 20.3°C(68.4°F). I know that compared to other places it's not really that high, but come on! I live in Denmark, we're lucky if temperature rounds 20°C in the actual freaking summer!!!

I feel like I am going to melt. I'm not saying to completely turn of the heat, but could someone please just turn it down? I'm Scandinavian for crying out loud, we're not meant for this sort of heat.





..... I am such a whiner

Hi everybody!

An update from Kira Land.... J dumped me a little over two weeks ago, after we had to leave our apartment because we couldn't afford it anymore(FUCK HIM!!!!) and I'm currently living at my parents house. And I suddenly understand my 15 year old baby brother a lot more.

My little brother, I'm gonna call him Squirt here(he's about two inches taller than me now), is diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. He's well functioning in a 'normal' setting, and it's mostly just small signs that he has Aspergers. My little sister, age 8, I'm gonna call her Brat, has ADD. She's also rather well functioning. But together....

Brat is very smart, and rather manipulative. Very good at breaking out the tears when things aren't going her way, and very good at living up to her nickname. Squirt is usually very calm, but Brat has a way of pushing all of his buttons. And when she does, Squirt loses his rather impressive temper. Brat then runs to our parents, crying, and about 90% of the time they just blame him without hearing his side. I'm not saying our parents don't fight for him, they do, but mostly only for the things he needs outside the house. When it comes to confrontations between Squirt and Brat it feels as if I'm the only one on Squirt's side, and it's very frustrating.

I understand that my parents aren't in an easy place, but FUCK! They saw what this sort of behaviour did to me. They did almost the same thing with me when I was his age. I had a lot to struggle with when I was his age, and my parents sorta just pushed me aside for him, and then Brat when she was born. I ended up fighting a very deep depression, I was actually admitted to the hospital for treatment, and now they're doing it to Squirt. He has issues, many issues right now, and our parents barely know half of it. I sat down with him yesterday and I just offered to listen, and EVERYTHING came rushing out. I asked him if he had talked with mom and dad about this, and he told me that they were too busy with Brat to listen to him.

I just told them that I need to speak with them alone. Without Squirt or Brat. I just... I have no idea how to talk with them about this without loosing my own nasty temper. Squirt doesn't have his temper from strangers.

I know that I've practically made Brat seem like a manipulative little monster so far, but she's not. She has her own issues because of the ADD, but she's also one of the sweetest little girls I know. She's just very gifted at pushing people's buttons, and I know that she doesn't always do it on purpose, but there is a reason why I always call her a brat.

I apologise for unloading all of this on you guys, but I needed to get this of my chest. I'm going to hide back under my covers with my tea now that I've vented, and maybe the world will make a little more sense once I've gotten more than two hours of sleep.

Hugs
Kira